Clarity of Purpose, Chapter 3
Jun. 7th, 2014 09:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mithenTitle: Clarity of Purpose, Chap. 3
Chapter Summary: Gandalf and Thorin discuss and disagree about where the Ring should be taken next.
Relationship: Thorin/Bilbo
Characters: Bilbo Baggins, Thorin Oakenshield, Gandalf
Fandom: Hobbit/Lord of the Rings. Begins in 2968, twenty-six years after the events of "Clarity of Vision" and fifty years before the canonical events of "Lord of the Rings." Thus, characters' ages and the geopolitical situation will be different than LoTR canon!
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2400
Summary: Thorin Oakenshield and Bilbo Baggins have been parted for many years now, despite the love they bear each other. Now Thorin's research has uncovered a dire threat to Middle Earth--the Ring he carried a little while and then gave to Bilbo. Together with a group of companions composed of the different Free Peoples of Middle Earth, they must attempt to destroy the artifact before its Dark Lord can re-capture it.
Thorin wasn't sure what he was feeling as Gandalf settled down next to the campfire and pulled out his pipe. His heart was still pounding and his mouth dry; he sheathed his sword, trying to banish dark thoughts from his mind. If what he suspected was pursuing them, then all his brave words would avail him and Bilbo little.
"How did you find us?" he growled at the wizard as Gandalf puffed a placid smoke ring.
"Oh, I have my ways," said Gandalf airily.
"Gandalf!" Bilbo said again, grinning happily at the wizard--the first time Thorin had seen him smile, Thorin realized. The realization pierced his heart with regret; this was not how he had imagined their reunion, all those empty years.
Despite that, he gazed at Bilbo's smile as if he were taking a long drink of cool water after a parching journey.
"What a pleasure to see you again," said Bilbo. "Is that Longbottom Leaf I smell?"
"Why Bilbo, has your sense of smell deteriorated so much?" Gandalf chided him. "This is Old Toby, my friend. Would you like a pinch?"
"I'd be delighted," said Bilbo, casting a glowering look at Thorin, "Except someone dragged me out of my home without so much as enough time to pack my pipe. I shall have to make do with the scent alone, I fear."
Thorin stared at them as they chattered about different types of pipeweed and whether a clay or briar pipe was preferable, feeling baffled exasperation roiling within him. Finally he could tolerate it no more, and burst out, "I have just finished explaining everything you and I have feared, everything you and I have been searching for clues about, is true: that Bilbo carries the Great Ring, the key to destroying the Enemy or to giving him dominion over all of Middle Earth, and that he seeks it even as we speak--so perhaps you could put off the discussion of pipeweed for later?"
Bilbo and Gandalf frowned at him as if he had been inexpressibly rude. "If you had let me bring my pipe, we could have this discussion over a good long smoke," complained Bilbo.
Thorin ground his teeth and braced himself firmly against the ground. "A messenger came to Erebor three weeks ago," he said before Gandalf could get sidetracked into another discussion of how to properly clean one's pipe. "A messenger from the east. From Mordor."
At the last word, Gandalf's gaze snapped to him and Thorin saw his whole body go still and watchful. He took a long, slow pull on the pipe and let the smoke escape his mouth in a sigh. "I see," he said.
"Do you?" Thorin paced angrily around the camp, remembering again how it had felt to face the envoy, fair of face and voice, with wrongness in every line of his body. Remembering the growing, choking terror as he had parried and deflected the poisoned words. "He bore us greetings from the Lord of Barad-Dûr," he said, "And asked if we had seen a small trifle that belonged to his master. A tiny thing, a simple gold ring."
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Bilbo put his hand to his breast pocket in a quick, involuntary movement.
"He mentioned that friendly relations between Erebor and Mordor could be beneficial to us both. and that the return of his master's property would go a long way toward smoothing out such relations. He seemed surprised when I said that we did not have such a ring." Thorin remembered the keen and greedy glint in the emissary's eyes. Thank Mahal the truth had been deceptive enough. "He seemed quite certain that the dwarves of Erebor held it. He--implied that we of Erebor were likely to be amenable to an alliance with Mordor." Power calls to power, and the Line of Durin has always craved dominion, the words of honey and gall had whispered from his lips.
"And you…" Gandalf let the sentence trail off, raising his eyebrows, and Thorin felt his jaw set.
"I named his master that which we dwarves call him, Zabuduzn, the Lord of Evil. I told him to crawl back to Mordor and report that none of Erebor would ever serve the Master of Lies. And then I threw him out the gate of the Lonely Mountain and sent him on his way." He had been sorely tempted to throw him from the ramparts, but he did want his message returned. "But worry haunted me from that moment. All my years of research had led me to the inescapable conclusion that the ring Bilbo had found was indeed the One Ring, and this seemed the final proof. The thought of it in the Shire, vulnerable--" Of Bilbo, alone and unaware... He broke off and shook his head, unable to express the horror that had gripped him as he had paced the floor late into the night, the nightmare visions. "So that night I slipped from Erebor by a secret way, leaving only a note to my Heir, and rode for the Shire." He glared at Gandalf. "I suppose you shall tell me it was rash and unwise to openly defy the Enemy like that, but I could not bear his insults."
The corners of Gandalf's mouth twitched. "I shall do no such thing," he murmured to Thorin's surprise. "Would that more people in Middle Earth were so quick to reject the blandishments of Mordor." He sighed. "But your decision to abandon Erebor and ride to the Shire is more troublesome," he said. "Could you not have sent Kíli, or Gimli--"
All of Thorin's worry and fear seemed to kindle against the wizard; he surged forward, snarling: "The fault is mine! Do you not understand--I gave him the Ring! It was from my hand that he received this cursed burden, it was my will that failed him." He took a deep breath that rang like a sob in his ears, then another. "It is because of me that he is in danger. I could not send anyone else to tear him from his home, to break into his life and shatter his peace. The guilt and the duty are mine, and mine alone, and I refuse to fail him again." Bilbo was staring at him, eyes wide, and the sight almost undid him entirely. "I shall keep him safe, or die."
Gandalf picked up a stick and stirred the fire thoughtfully for a while. Then he said, very softly: "Do you seek him to save him from the Ring by taking it from him?"
Thorin physically recoiled, flinching away from both the wizard and from Bilbo, remembering the sweet vile murmurs in his mind when he had possessed it, the dreams of power in his despair that had clung to him like slime, tarnishing and corroding everything he loved. He shuddered all over and grated, "I would rather die than touch that foul and beautiful thing once more."
The flicker of relief on Bilbo's face, quickly gone, filled him with a sorrow that he could hardly bear, but Gandalf looked keenly at him, as if his gaze could pierce Thorin's soul. "Could a king be willing to serve a lowly hobbit?"
"Lowly?" A disbelieving laugh thudded through Thorin's body. "Bilbo Baggins is the bravest, most noble, most compassionate--" Struggling for composure, hardly knowing what he was doing, he turned to Bilbo and went down on one knee. "If you will accept my fealty, I will be your faithful servant wherever the road may take you. By the stone from which Mahal carved my ancestors, I swear I shall not leave your side nor betray you, from this day forward until the end of all our days." He bowed his head and added in a harsh whisper, "I beg your forgiveness for destroying your peaceful life, and beseech you to let me dedicate myself to you."
"You didn't--" Bilbo's voice was thick with emotion, "You didn't shatter my peaceful life, it wasn't--it wasn't peaceful, unless you mean peaceful like the grave, silent and dead and haunted by--" He broke off and shook his head. "If you only knew how much I've wanted to see you!" he burst out, and put his arms around Thorin, joining him on the ground and resting his head on his shoulder with a sigh that seemed to rattle his small body, a sigh of terrible relief.
How very like Bilbo, thought Thorin as he drew him close, to not even notice the King of the Dwarves offering him fealty. But it made no difference if Bilbo never comprehended the depth of that oath; it mattered not at all.
"I shall take my leave of your for now, to scout ahead and make sure we are not followed," said Gandalf, rising and knocking his pipe against the boulder. He met Thorin's eyes for a moment, and Thorin realized that his vow had not gone unwitnessed after all.
The thought filled him with a sharp relief as the wizard turned and vanished into the night.
Bilbo leaned against Thorin, inhaling the scent of his hair. "I'm not afraid," he murmured after a time, hearing the surprise in his voice.
"You should be," Thorin's voice rumbled. "If you knew what dark forces sought for you, if you fully understood the baleful power of that great and lidless Eye--"
Bilbo couldn't help it; he started laughing, and Thorin's deeply offended look only made it impossible to stop. "You are--" he finally managed, "You are the most spectacularly gloomy travel companion. Truly, how could anyone be afraid, with you beside them to lift their spirits?" Laughter wrung him like a dishcloth until he was draped over Thorin's shoulder, limp with hilarity. He took a deep breath, then another, and pulled himself upright. "No," he said, more quietly. "You don't understand. Of course I'm worried. I'm even terrified, I suppose. But I have a reason." Thorin's expression remained uncomprehending, and Bilbo knew there were no words to describe the miasma of formless fear that had haunted his days and years, like a mist that blurred everything around him, closing in and blotting out the world. At Thorin's appearance it had lifted, blown away in a wind of exhilarated terror, and the world seemed sharp and new once more, filled with endless vistas of danger and possibility. He grinned at Thorin. "And I have you. So I'm not afraid."
Thorin gazed at him for a long moment, then placed his hand on his heart and bowed his head. "You have me," he said.
The black stallion chose this moment to stamp his hooves and nicker, billowing grass-scented steam around him.
"Yes, and you have Petunia as well," Thorin added with a small smile.
Bilbo choked. "Petunia?"
Thorin frowned. "You always named your horses after flowers. And his color is the same purple-black as those flowers you pointed out to me in Bree once. It seemed apt. Is there something wrong with it?"
"No!" Bilbo said hastily. "No, it's a beautiful name, for a beautiful horse. He stood to pat Petunia's neck. "And a strong one, too, to carry the both of us so far and fast."
Petunia tossed his head and looked quite boastful as Bilbo smoothed his glossy black hair.
"He hails from Rohan," said Thorin. "Sent as a gift. Few dwarves are tall enough to ride such a steed, so I felt justified in claiming him for my own, though it was selfish of me, for he is truly magnificent."
"All these compliments will go to his head and he will become insufferable," Gandalf announced, appearing from the gloom once more. Petunia shot him a baleful glance, which he ignored. "I see no sign of pursuit, Thorin. And indeed, I am unsure that the Enemy would have known to seek out the Shire. If the information came, as I suspect, from the creature named Gollum, then he knows only that Thorin of Erebor has his Precious."
"But my father saw Bilbo with the Ring," said Thorin, his voice low. "And the Blacklocks reported that Thráin had been seen traveling with a small being, not a dwarf, but wizened and stooped. They separated before he came to them, but there was no mistaking Gollum."
"Gollum and your father? Traveling together?" Bilbo felt a chill go down his spine at the idea of two such malign beings joining forces, and Thorin put a hand on his shoulder.
"It seems it," said Gandalf. "But Thráin would not have known Bilbo's name or homeland--and surely he would never have imagined that anyone would leave the glories of Erebor." He shot a small smile at Bilbo. "Neither of them would have known that the prize they so desired was safe in the West all these years, and thus it seems likely the Enemy would not either."
"I am glad to hear it," said Thorin. "Perhaps we may reach our destination safely."
"And it is of your destination I must speak next," said Gandalf. His smile was gone and he seemed taller than before, and more daunting. "Thorin of Erebor, King Under the Mountain, we have been friends these many years, but I must tell you I feel your course to be ill-advised. These affairs affect all of Middle Earth, not merely the dwarves, and it is sheerest folly to leave the other Free Peoples of Middle Earth out of this matter."
Bilbo felt Thorin's hand tense on his shoulder. "And you, wizard, have been a help and a boon, but I will not risk the fate of the world to the elves who are abandoning it, nor to the fickle and traitorous men! Elves gave Sauron the freedom to forge this dread thing, and the strength of Men failed to destroy it. Now it is time for dwarves to show their mettle!"
They glared at each other, the dwarf and the wizard, and Bilbo seemed to feel the air crackling between them. Thorin shook his head once more in angry rejection, and his voice was steeled with determination as he announced:
"We take the Ring to Khazad-dûm, and there we shall decide what is to be done with it!"
Chapter Summary: Gandalf and Thorin discuss and disagree about where the Ring should be taken next.
Relationship: Thorin/Bilbo
Characters: Bilbo Baggins, Thorin Oakenshield, Gandalf
Fandom: Hobbit/Lord of the Rings. Begins in 2968, twenty-six years after the events of "Clarity of Vision" and fifty years before the canonical events of "Lord of the Rings." Thus, characters' ages and the geopolitical situation will be different than LoTR canon!
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2400
Summary: Thorin Oakenshield and Bilbo Baggins have been parted for many years now, despite the love they bear each other. Now Thorin's research has uncovered a dire threat to Middle Earth--the Ring he carried a little while and then gave to Bilbo. Together with a group of companions composed of the different Free Peoples of Middle Earth, they must attempt to destroy the artifact before its Dark Lord can re-capture it.
Thorin wasn't sure what he was feeling as Gandalf settled down next to the campfire and pulled out his pipe. His heart was still pounding and his mouth dry; he sheathed his sword, trying to banish dark thoughts from his mind. If what he suspected was pursuing them, then all his brave words would avail him and Bilbo little.
"How did you find us?" he growled at the wizard as Gandalf puffed a placid smoke ring.
"Oh, I have my ways," said Gandalf airily.
"Gandalf!" Bilbo said again, grinning happily at the wizard--the first time Thorin had seen him smile, Thorin realized. The realization pierced his heart with regret; this was not how he had imagined their reunion, all those empty years.
Despite that, he gazed at Bilbo's smile as if he were taking a long drink of cool water after a parching journey.
"What a pleasure to see you again," said Bilbo. "Is that Longbottom Leaf I smell?"
"Why Bilbo, has your sense of smell deteriorated so much?" Gandalf chided him. "This is Old Toby, my friend. Would you like a pinch?"
"I'd be delighted," said Bilbo, casting a glowering look at Thorin, "Except someone dragged me out of my home without so much as enough time to pack my pipe. I shall have to make do with the scent alone, I fear."
Thorin stared at them as they chattered about different types of pipeweed and whether a clay or briar pipe was preferable, feeling baffled exasperation roiling within him. Finally he could tolerate it no more, and burst out, "I have just finished explaining everything you and I have feared, everything you and I have been searching for clues about, is true: that Bilbo carries the Great Ring, the key to destroying the Enemy or to giving him dominion over all of Middle Earth, and that he seeks it even as we speak--so perhaps you could put off the discussion of pipeweed for later?"
Bilbo and Gandalf frowned at him as if he had been inexpressibly rude. "If you had let me bring my pipe, we could have this discussion over a good long smoke," complained Bilbo.
Thorin ground his teeth and braced himself firmly against the ground. "A messenger came to Erebor three weeks ago," he said before Gandalf could get sidetracked into another discussion of how to properly clean one's pipe. "A messenger from the east. From Mordor."
At the last word, Gandalf's gaze snapped to him and Thorin saw his whole body go still and watchful. He took a long, slow pull on the pipe and let the smoke escape his mouth in a sigh. "I see," he said.
"Do you?" Thorin paced angrily around the camp, remembering again how it had felt to face the envoy, fair of face and voice, with wrongness in every line of his body. Remembering the growing, choking terror as he had parried and deflected the poisoned words. "He bore us greetings from the Lord of Barad-Dûr," he said, "And asked if we had seen a small trifle that belonged to his master. A tiny thing, a simple gold ring."
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Bilbo put his hand to his breast pocket in a quick, involuntary movement.
"He mentioned that friendly relations between Erebor and Mordor could be beneficial to us both. and that the return of his master's property would go a long way toward smoothing out such relations. He seemed surprised when I said that we did not have such a ring." Thorin remembered the keen and greedy glint in the emissary's eyes. Thank Mahal the truth had been deceptive enough. "He seemed quite certain that the dwarves of Erebor held it. He--implied that we of Erebor were likely to be amenable to an alliance with Mordor." Power calls to power, and the Line of Durin has always craved dominion, the words of honey and gall had whispered from his lips.
"And you…" Gandalf let the sentence trail off, raising his eyebrows, and Thorin felt his jaw set.
"I named his master that which we dwarves call him, Zabuduzn, the Lord of Evil. I told him to crawl back to Mordor and report that none of Erebor would ever serve the Master of Lies. And then I threw him out the gate of the Lonely Mountain and sent him on his way." He had been sorely tempted to throw him from the ramparts, but he did want his message returned. "But worry haunted me from that moment. All my years of research had led me to the inescapable conclusion that the ring Bilbo had found was indeed the One Ring, and this seemed the final proof. The thought of it in the Shire, vulnerable--" Of Bilbo, alone and unaware... He broke off and shook his head, unable to express the horror that had gripped him as he had paced the floor late into the night, the nightmare visions. "So that night I slipped from Erebor by a secret way, leaving only a note to my Heir, and rode for the Shire." He glared at Gandalf. "I suppose you shall tell me it was rash and unwise to openly defy the Enemy like that, but I could not bear his insults."
The corners of Gandalf's mouth twitched. "I shall do no such thing," he murmured to Thorin's surprise. "Would that more people in Middle Earth were so quick to reject the blandishments of Mordor." He sighed. "But your decision to abandon Erebor and ride to the Shire is more troublesome," he said. "Could you not have sent Kíli, or Gimli--"
All of Thorin's worry and fear seemed to kindle against the wizard; he surged forward, snarling: "The fault is mine! Do you not understand--I gave him the Ring! It was from my hand that he received this cursed burden, it was my will that failed him." He took a deep breath that rang like a sob in his ears, then another. "It is because of me that he is in danger. I could not send anyone else to tear him from his home, to break into his life and shatter his peace. The guilt and the duty are mine, and mine alone, and I refuse to fail him again." Bilbo was staring at him, eyes wide, and the sight almost undid him entirely. "I shall keep him safe, or die."
Gandalf picked up a stick and stirred the fire thoughtfully for a while. Then he said, very softly: "Do you seek him to save him from the Ring by taking it from him?"
Thorin physically recoiled, flinching away from both the wizard and from Bilbo, remembering the sweet vile murmurs in his mind when he had possessed it, the dreams of power in his despair that had clung to him like slime, tarnishing and corroding everything he loved. He shuddered all over and grated, "I would rather die than touch that foul and beautiful thing once more."
The flicker of relief on Bilbo's face, quickly gone, filled him with a sorrow that he could hardly bear, but Gandalf looked keenly at him, as if his gaze could pierce Thorin's soul. "Could a king be willing to serve a lowly hobbit?"
"Lowly?" A disbelieving laugh thudded through Thorin's body. "Bilbo Baggins is the bravest, most noble, most compassionate--" Struggling for composure, hardly knowing what he was doing, he turned to Bilbo and went down on one knee. "If you will accept my fealty, I will be your faithful servant wherever the road may take you. By the stone from which Mahal carved my ancestors, I swear I shall not leave your side nor betray you, from this day forward until the end of all our days." He bowed his head and added in a harsh whisper, "I beg your forgiveness for destroying your peaceful life, and beseech you to let me dedicate myself to you."
"You didn't--" Bilbo's voice was thick with emotion, "You didn't shatter my peaceful life, it wasn't--it wasn't peaceful, unless you mean peaceful like the grave, silent and dead and haunted by--" He broke off and shook his head. "If you only knew how much I've wanted to see you!" he burst out, and put his arms around Thorin, joining him on the ground and resting his head on his shoulder with a sigh that seemed to rattle his small body, a sigh of terrible relief.
How very like Bilbo, thought Thorin as he drew him close, to not even notice the King of the Dwarves offering him fealty. But it made no difference if Bilbo never comprehended the depth of that oath; it mattered not at all.
"I shall take my leave of your for now, to scout ahead and make sure we are not followed," said Gandalf, rising and knocking his pipe against the boulder. He met Thorin's eyes for a moment, and Thorin realized that his vow had not gone unwitnessed after all.
The thought filled him with a sharp relief as the wizard turned and vanished into the night.
Bilbo leaned against Thorin, inhaling the scent of his hair. "I'm not afraid," he murmured after a time, hearing the surprise in his voice.
"You should be," Thorin's voice rumbled. "If you knew what dark forces sought for you, if you fully understood the baleful power of that great and lidless Eye--"
Bilbo couldn't help it; he started laughing, and Thorin's deeply offended look only made it impossible to stop. "You are--" he finally managed, "You are the most spectacularly gloomy travel companion. Truly, how could anyone be afraid, with you beside them to lift their spirits?" Laughter wrung him like a dishcloth until he was draped over Thorin's shoulder, limp with hilarity. He took a deep breath, then another, and pulled himself upright. "No," he said, more quietly. "You don't understand. Of course I'm worried. I'm even terrified, I suppose. But I have a reason." Thorin's expression remained uncomprehending, and Bilbo knew there were no words to describe the miasma of formless fear that had haunted his days and years, like a mist that blurred everything around him, closing in and blotting out the world. At Thorin's appearance it had lifted, blown away in a wind of exhilarated terror, and the world seemed sharp and new once more, filled with endless vistas of danger and possibility. He grinned at Thorin. "And I have you. So I'm not afraid."
Thorin gazed at him for a long moment, then placed his hand on his heart and bowed his head. "You have me," he said.
The black stallion chose this moment to stamp his hooves and nicker, billowing grass-scented steam around him.
"Yes, and you have Petunia as well," Thorin added with a small smile.
Bilbo choked. "Petunia?"
Thorin frowned. "You always named your horses after flowers. And his color is the same purple-black as those flowers you pointed out to me in Bree once. It seemed apt. Is there something wrong with it?"
"No!" Bilbo said hastily. "No, it's a beautiful name, for a beautiful horse. He stood to pat Petunia's neck. "And a strong one, too, to carry the both of us so far and fast."
Petunia tossed his head and looked quite boastful as Bilbo smoothed his glossy black hair.
"He hails from Rohan," said Thorin. "Sent as a gift. Few dwarves are tall enough to ride such a steed, so I felt justified in claiming him for my own, though it was selfish of me, for he is truly magnificent."
"All these compliments will go to his head and he will become insufferable," Gandalf announced, appearing from the gloom once more. Petunia shot him a baleful glance, which he ignored. "I see no sign of pursuit, Thorin. And indeed, I am unsure that the Enemy would have known to seek out the Shire. If the information came, as I suspect, from the creature named Gollum, then he knows only that Thorin of Erebor has his Precious."
"But my father saw Bilbo with the Ring," said Thorin, his voice low. "And the Blacklocks reported that Thráin had been seen traveling with a small being, not a dwarf, but wizened and stooped. They separated before he came to them, but there was no mistaking Gollum."
"Gollum and your father? Traveling together?" Bilbo felt a chill go down his spine at the idea of two such malign beings joining forces, and Thorin put a hand on his shoulder.
"It seems it," said Gandalf. "But Thráin would not have known Bilbo's name or homeland--and surely he would never have imagined that anyone would leave the glories of Erebor." He shot a small smile at Bilbo. "Neither of them would have known that the prize they so desired was safe in the West all these years, and thus it seems likely the Enemy would not either."
"I am glad to hear it," said Thorin. "Perhaps we may reach our destination safely."
"And it is of your destination I must speak next," said Gandalf. His smile was gone and he seemed taller than before, and more daunting. "Thorin of Erebor, King Under the Mountain, we have been friends these many years, but I must tell you I feel your course to be ill-advised. These affairs affect all of Middle Earth, not merely the dwarves, and it is sheerest folly to leave the other Free Peoples of Middle Earth out of this matter."
Bilbo felt Thorin's hand tense on his shoulder. "And you, wizard, have been a help and a boon, but I will not risk the fate of the world to the elves who are abandoning it, nor to the fickle and traitorous men! Elves gave Sauron the freedom to forge this dread thing, and the strength of Men failed to destroy it. Now it is time for dwarves to show their mettle!"
They glared at each other, the dwarf and the wizard, and Bilbo seemed to feel the air crackling between them. Thorin shook his head once more in angry rejection, and his voice was steeled with determination as he announced:
"We take the Ring to Khazad-dûm, and there we shall decide what is to be done with it!"
(no subject)
Date: 2014-06-08 11:39 am (UTC)That little moment of regret that Bilbo's first smile was for Gandalf broke my heart, poor Thorin. BUT OH THAT OATH. You're going to absolutely devastate me emotionally a bunch through this story, I can tell. And I CAN'T WAIT.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-06-11 01:49 pm (UTC)I was really pleased when I realized that, because it makes his insistence a lot more understandable from his POV! Hobbits and dwarves are about the only races that didn't muck this up...
Yay for emotional devastation! *dances happily* Gah, GAH, I am SO close to writing the arrival of a new character and I haven't had time to get there, and it's killing meeeee.
Ooooh yay new chapter!
Date: 2014-06-08 09:45 pm (UTC)"Gandalf!" Bilbo said again, grinning happily at the wizard--the first time Thorin had seen him smile, Thorin realized. The realization pierced his heart with regret; this was not how he had imagined their reunion, all those empty years.
Despite that, he gazed at Bilbo's smile as if he were taking a long drink of cool water after a parching journey.
Urgh. No. Don't hurt me so.
Bilbo and Gandalf frowned at him as if he had been inexpressibly rude.
You know I love the hobbits for their common sense but it can be taken too far! Poor Thorin with all his angst, surrounded by mischievous wizards and down-to-earth hobbits!
"A messenger from the east. From Mordor."
*jaw drops to the floor* O_______________________________________________O
fair of face and voice, with wrongness in every line of his body.
Oh yes, very well described. Just like Sauron in the beginning. Was it him? I'd think not but I won't count on it.
"I named his master that which we dwarves call him, Zabuduzn, the Lord of Evil. I told him to crawl back to Mordor and report that none of Erebor would ever serve the Master of Lies. And then I threw him out the gate of the Lonely Mountain and sent him on his way."
A true hero. My Thorin *is proud*
"The fault is mine! Do you not understand--I gave him the Ring! It was from my hand that he received this cursed burden, it was my will that failed him." He took a deep breath that rang like a sob in his ears, then another.
Ah nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I suspected this in the last chapter but this! *snuggles Thorin* Well, at least it's out in the open now.
"If you will accept my fealty, I will be your faithful servant wherever the road may take you. By the stone from which Mahal carved my ancestors, I swear I shall not leave your side nor betray you, from this day forward until the end of all our days." He bowed his head and added in a harsh whisper, "I beg your forgiveness for destroying your peaceful life, and beseech you to let me dedicate myself to you."
EPIC SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON Oh Eru. I forgive them their understatedness in CoV because THIS. THIS! Up the angst as much as you like if it leads to scenes like this. Seriously. *tries to calm herself* Mmmh I love the word dedication, it's wonderful.
"You didn't shatter my peaceful life, it wasn't--it wasn't peaceful, unless you mean peaceful like the grave, silent and dead and haunted by--" He broke off and shook his head. "If you only knew how much I've wanted to see you!" he burst out, and put his arms around Thorin, joining him on the ground and resting his head on his shoulder with a sigh that seemed to rattle his small body, a sigh of terrible relief.
Yes, set him right Bilbo! And hugs. There can never be enough hugs for my poor Thorin. Yes I am firmly on his side again.
Bilbo leaned against Thorin, inhaling the scent of his hair.
Mmmmh yesssss hair.
the most spectacularly gloomy travel companion
Why is he surprised? It's on Thorin's every About me page.
Bilbo knew there were no words to describe the miasma of formless fear that had haunted his days and years, like a mist that blurred everything around him, closing in and blotting out the world. At Thorin's appearance it had lifted, blown away in a wind of exhilarated terror, and the world seemed sharp and new once more, filled with endless vistas of danger and possibility.
Ouch. This reminds me so strongly of Thorin's depression in CoV (and of course it should because it had the same source).
I seriously wonder what the Rohirrim would say about Petunia as a name for a noble steed. On the other hand how cute is it that Thorin thought of a flower Bilbo showed him such a long time ago...
"And you, wizard, have been a help and a boon, but I will not risk the fate of the world to the elves who are abandoning it, nor to the fickle and traitorous men! Elves gave Sauron the freedom to forge this dread thing, and the strength of Men failed to destroy it. Now it is time for dwarves to show their mettle!"
Well he does have a point or two there... :-)
Looking forward to the next bit like crazy!
Also, a very very belated happy birthday! I totally missed it and I am sorry. :-(
Re: Ooooh yay new chapter!
Date: 2014-06-11 01:59 pm (UTC)I do like that this was legitimately exasperating to more than one reader! Because that is a flip side to that down-to-earthness, is sometimes an inability to realize that this is Really Important Stuff...
Oh yes, very well described. Just like Sauron in the beginning. Was it him? I'd think not but I won't count on it.
I confess I've deviated from the movies here and gone with the Mouth of Sauron (not him, but his emissary) being beautiful instead of nasty-looking, because Tolkien was fond of beautiful evil now and then...
I seriously wonder what the Rohirrim would say about Petunia as a name for a noble steed.
Oh, this reminds me that since I have one available in a few chapters he really should have an opinion! :) Thank you!
And YES, he really does have a point about elves and men screwing it up with the Ring, doesn't he? I definitely sympathize with his frustrations there...
Augh, I want to put the next chapter up SO MUCH, but I also really must get the next Heroes chapter going (shopping for action figures!) ^-^
Ah nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I suspected this in the last chapter but this!
You KNOW it has to eat at him, poor Thorin!
Why is he surprised? It's on Thorin's every About me page.
*breaks up laughing* Now I'm imagining his Tumblr bio: "Ruler of Erebor, King Under the Mountain. Will probably ruin your day if you let me. *sigh*"
Re: Ooooh yay new chapter!
Date: 2014-06-19 04:33 pm (UTC)Yes, and it would drive me up the wall IRL!
because Tolkien was fond of beautiful evil now and then...
Yes exactly that's what I meant. I am fond of that too because you really usually can't judge someone properly by their looks (well, unless they are pointing a weapon at you but still).
Oh, this reminds me that since I have one available in a few chapters he really should have an opinion! :) Thank you!
mekare at your service, *bows* :-)
Augh, I want to put the next chapter up SO MUCH, but I also really must get the next Heroes chapter going (shopping for action figures!) ^-^
I sympathize. (And by now you have put it up, yay!) I thought the time after exams would be a blissful, fandom-filled time. But no such luck. Work, paper work and stuff is keeping me busy. *sadface*
Now I'm imagining his Tumblr bio: "Ruler of Erebor, King Under the Mountain. Will probably ruin your day if you let me. *sigh*"
OMG has someone done this? Someone must have had the idea already, right? I mean, I am SURE I've seen a tumblr which is writing from John or Sherlock's perspective and one from Tony Stark/Marvel universe... hmmm.
Re: Ooooh yay new chapter!
Date: 2014-06-22 08:10 am (UTC)God, I know what you mean. I keep looking forward to some "Golden Age" when I'll be able to get caught up...and it never comes. I hope you can find some time to relax in and around there!
OMG has someone done this? Someone must have had the idea already, right? I mean, I am SURE I've seen a tumblr which is writing from John or Sherlock's perspective and one from Tony Stark/Marvel universe... hmmm.
There must be! Though the closest I know of is Thorin Oakenshield's Majestic Diary which is fic, but fits that tone (and is fantastic!)
Re: Ooooh yay new chapter!
Date: 2014-07-05 03:21 pm (UTC)operation reread in progress . . .
Date: 2014-09-16 09:10 pm (UTC)I quickly reread Thorin's letters before this chapter and, and that was a bad idea. My poor Thorin!!!!! He keeps on loving but so little has been coming back from Bilbo and I know it's not entirely his fault but but but My Thorin deserves ALL THE LOVE. öksdbjfkjsdbvfhj
Remembering the growing, choking terror as he had parried and deflected the poisoned words.
Poor Thorin! And with his defenses not properly fortified through Bilbo. ARGH
it was my will that failed him."
Of course. For Thorin it is all a question of having enough willpower. Beating himself up for his depression is so him. Even though the consequences were grave. Someone protect this stubborn self-sacrificing dwarf! Please?
miasma of formless fear
Mmhh miasma, great word!
I shall take my leave of your for now
whoops this should be you
inhaling the scent of his hair
YES MORE THORIN HAIR
__
Reread my old comment and it seems the same lines affect me the second time, which is interesting.
Re: operation reread in progress . . .
Date: 2014-09-22 02:00 pm (UTC)I know...it's too horrible, poor Thorin! It just makes me so sad...revenge will be sweet!
Of course. For Thorin it is all a question of having enough willpower. Beating himself up for his depression is so him. Even though the consequences were grave. Someone protect this stubborn self-sacrificing dwarf! Please?
Yesss, I can totally see Thorin blaming himself for--well, for everything! It's just the way he is, especially without Bilbo there to pull him out of it...
(And thank you for the typo catch, eep!)