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mithenTitle: Sanity Clause
Relationship: Clark/Bruce
Characters: Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Harvey Dent, Big Barda, Scott Free, Jack Napier, Oliver Queen, Lex Luthor, Selina Kyle
Continuity: Heroes of the Squared Circle, a DC/pro wrestling fusion (click for notes and all chapters).
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Rating: PG
Word Count 2900
Summary: The JLI invasion angle draws to a close with a contract signing in the ring. What are the odds someone's getting thrown through that table? Pretty high.
Wrestling is, more than anything else in the world (besides porn, I guess), about instant gratification. Having problems with your boss? WATCH SOMEBODY PUNCH THEIR BOSS, NOW YOU’RE BETTER. --Brandon Stroud
"Do you think maybe there's some way I can be funny in this promo?" Jack Napier was looking glumly at the red luchador-style mask, designed to cover his entire head. Even the face was obscured, with a mesh that allowed the wrestler to peer out but hid the features. "I'm more of a verbal comedian, but with this gimmick I'm limited to physical gags. Have you noticed the subtle humor of my portrayal?"
"It's...very subtle," Clark said politely. To the point of nonexistence. Red Hood was, like Darkseid, generally used as muscle for Lex Luthor's corporate-bad-guy gimmick. Unlike Darkseid, it was not a speaking gimmick, and his job was limited to standing at Luthor's shoulder and being intimidating. Considering Napier's slender build, he wasn't particularly good at that either. "There's definitely an...ironic edge to the gimmick."
"Exactly!" Napier beamed. "The marks haven't noticed it yet, but I'm sure the smarks who are paying attention will realize what a nuanced performance I'm giving."
"He doesn't read the Planet, I gather," said Oliver Queen as he wandered off to suit up.
"Apparently not," said Clark. Perry White's dirt sheet had been scathing in its one-line dismissal of the "new and unimproved Red Hood."
"Maybe he's just covering for the fact that he's the leak," Queen said. "Did you see the latest?"
"The one about Isley?"
Queen rolled his eyes. "Nah. Luthor doesn't care if people know Poison Ivy's gay. Hell, it'll probably boost her popularity--" He broke off and looked thoughtful, "In fact, I wonder if that was a deliberate leak. But no, I mean the story about Lex trying to sign Jean-Paul Valley. Had exact figures for the offers and everything. Luthor was livid."
"Maybe you're the leak," Clark said.
He'd meant to sound joking, but Queen looked horrified. "Hey, the whole Robin Hood thing is just a gimmick," he said, raising his hands in the air. "Don't talk shit like that." He actually looked around to make sure no one was listening.
"Aren't you being a little paranoid?" said Bruce, rounding the corner out of nowhere, and Queen flinched.
"Stop doing that, man. You're freaking me out," he muttered, and hastily made himself scarce.
"Protesting too much?" Clark said, looking after him.
"Nah." Bruce sat down in his vacated chair. "I'm pretty sure I know who the leak is." He grinned at Clark's expression. "I'm not telling until I know for certain, though."
"What are you going to do, plant a fake rumor and see if it shows up in the Planet?"
"Hey, that's a pretty good idea," Bruce said, admiration glowing in his face. "Downright devious, Clark. If we--"
"No way," Clark said, laughing. "I am not conspiring with you to smoke out a mole. Things are paranoid enough here already."
"Fine," said Bruce, mock-aggrieved. "I'll just keep my clever deductions to myself, then. No, don't beg me to tell you, it will avail you nothing."
Clark snorted and returned to reading his script. "I still think this is ridiculous," he said, slapping the paper. "No one is going to believe this about the stock options."
"They'll believe it if we make them want to believe it," Bruce said.
"Confident as always," said Selina, pulling up a chair. Her hair was still black--"I won't go blonde until we're official"--and she was wearing her JLI t-shirt.
"Of course," said Bruce. "Ready to be a lawyer again?" he called to Harvey.
"You bet," said Harvey. "The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part." He waggled his eyebrows. "How do you like that? That's pretty neat, eh?"
"Groucho Marx, A Night at the Opera," said Clark, as Bruce looked blank.
"Why do I even try with this guy, I ask you," said Harvey, slapping Bruce lightly on the back. He looked back at Clark. "Hey, if I get a chance I'll use that 'sanity clause' line tonight, you ready to pick it up and run with it?"
"Perfect," said Clark.
"Don't feel bad," said Harvey to Bruce, who didn't look like he felt bad at all, "If the Marx Brothers had made a movie about professional wrestling I'm sure you'd know it by heart."
: : :
"The way I see it," said Lex Luthor as the crowd murmured, "You leave me no choice."
The six former members of the JLI stood shoulder-to-shoulder in the ring, facing down Lex Luthor, who was flanked by Darkseid and Red Hood while Otis tried to make himself inconspicuous behind them. Between them was a desk. Clark had to admit it made a pretty dramatic tableau.
"If what it takes to keep you from interfering with my business is to sign you, then that's what I'm going to have to do," Luthor went on. He snapped his fingers and Otis cringed forward, pulling a sheaf of papers from a folder. "So let's do it. I'll sign you here and now, live in this ring, to full-time contracts at salaries the likes of which you never even dreamed of with Lord's promotion. There are only two stipulations."
He grinned at them for a moment, and the JLI wrestlers exchanged uneasy looks.
"The first stipulation," Lex said, holding up a finger, "Is that he--" the finger was leveled at Bruce Wayne, "--is not part of the deal and is not getting a contract. Oh, don't play innocent with me," he said as Bruce threw up his hands and looked shocked. "I know perfectly well you're the ringleader of this sorry little bunch. The rest of them don't have enough brains between them to come up with something like this, but you…" His eyes narrowed, "You are smarter than you act, Billionaire Brucie."
Clark mimed looking insulted, but he felt a sudden chill run down his spine at the assessing look Luthor and Bruce were giving each other. He doesn't have to look quite so sincere, does he?
"So you are out of the equation," Luthor said as Otis put five pieces of paper on the table. "The rest of you, however, are free to examine your contracts." He gestured magnanimously at the papers on the table, and the remainder of the JLI went to the table and picked up their contracts as Brucie retreated to the corner of the ring, glowering.
"This is amazing!" Selina said, jumping up and down with her contract. "I could buy enough diamonds to bathe in with this!"
Scott and Barda were eyeing their contracts more warily, keeping one eye on Darkseid, who had played Scott's evil foster-father back in the glory days of the JLI and was thus not to be trusted. But soon even they were nodding in reluctant approval. Harvey was going over it carefully, rolling some of the more sonorous legal phrases around on his tongue like a fine wine.
Only Clark seemed unconvinced. "I don't like it," he said, glaring down at his contract. "I don't want to leave Brucie behind. We're finally kind of friends, and I just…" His voice trailed off as his comrades slapped him on the back, urging him to sign it and join them.
Clark hoped the cameras were catching Brucie's face as he watched his former teammates prepare to abandon him; he gave Brucie a quick, imploring look and Brucie looked away.
"It's just...there's a lot of long words and stuff I don't understand here," he said. "Like this bit." he held up the contract and read laboriously aloud: "If any of the parties participating in this contract are shown not to be in their right mind, the entire agreement is automatically nolli--nullified."
Harvey stepped up in full "lawyer mode," preening. "I can explain that! That's standard in contracts like this, it's what they call a 'sanity clause.'"
Clark threw the paper down on the table with an "ah-ha!" expression on his face. "Luthor's just fooling with you all! I know there ain't no Sanity Clause." He nodded sagely at the dumbfounded Harvey and explained in a loud stage-whisper, "My Pa was the one left all those presents under the tree every year!"
The crowd groaned in unison, but before Harvey could open his mouth to try to explain, Luthor spoke again: "I do believe I haven't mentioned my second stipulation yet." The wrestlers fell silent as he smiled at them. "As the lot of you have clearly established yourselves to be troublemakers and rabble-rousers, I will require a bit of extra proof that you're willing to work with me. Willing to work for me. And willing to do what you must to prove that you truly are loyal...and obedient...employees. That's why in order to get the right to sign this lucrative and rewarding contract, each of you must first bend down and kiss my…" He paused just long enough to let the crowd's murmurs ratchet up into growls before finishing, "...my foot."
"You want us to--"
"--That's right," Luthor spoke over Scott's words, "I will be requiring you all to get down on your hands and knees and kiss my shoes for the right to work for me. I'm sure you'll agree that's more than fair."
A dramatic pause as the JLI wrestlers emoted shock and uncertainty, each in their own way: Barda brandished an angry fist; Selina looked coy; Clark just scowled. Finally, Harvey stepped forward and took the mic.
"If it must be done..." he said, and as the crowd howled in horror, he dropped to his knees.
Lex extended one shining wingtip, and Harvey closed his eyes and screwed his face up into a parody of a preparation for a kiss. He leaned forward--
"Wait a second." Billionaire Brucie stepped forward once more, taking a spare mic from Clark. "This seems like a good time to mention, Lex--" He paused and made the audience wait for it, just for a moment. "--That I've been buying up DCW stock. Various shell companies, it's all a bit too complicated to explain here."
Shocked silence. The crowd seemed to be holding its breath. Harvey opened one eye, his lips still grotesquely puckered.
Luthor was staring at Brucie. "You can't be implying--Impossible! I still own 51% of the company, I'm the majority shareholder, you can't just--"
"--It's true," Brucie said mournfully, "I haven't been able to get enough shares to really oust you." He flashed a bright smile. "But I do have 25% of the shares, and there's an odd little clause in the bylaws that allows someone with 25% of company stock to offer contracts to people."
The audience will never believe that! Clark had argued when they first read the script. But Bruce had laughed until there were tears at the corners of his eyes and sworn that the average professional wrestling fan understood stockholder bylaws about as well as they understood quantum physics, and if he could sell it, they'd believe it.
And indeed, the crowd was eating it up as Brucie swaggered into the center of the ring and announced, "And I do believe I'll be offering contracts to all my old JLI buddies--and myself, of course. No foot-kissing required," he added as Harvey sprang up, beaming. "I even took the liberty of drafting myself a contract in advance," he said, producing a sheet of paper from his pocket.
Luthor had turned an impressive shade of apoplectic red--he had the useful ability to redden at will, and his baldness made it look even more dramatic. He sputtered in helpless rage as the JLI wrestlers signed their contracts, Brucie signing last with a flourish. "It's a pleasure to be working for you," Brucie beamed. He turned his back on Luthor to leave the ring--
And Luthor gestured to Darkseid and Red Hood, who sprang at him.
As one, the former JLI members countered the attack: Scott and Barda taking on Darkseid, Country Clark and Harvey dealing with Red Hood (Otis immediately scrambled to get away from the fray). As the battle raged around the ring and Luthor stood in fuming rage, Brucie tapped him on the shoulder.
As Luthor turned to yell at him, Brucie caught him up, flipped him over in the air, and drove him headfirst into the table.
The audience screamed its approval as Scott tripped Darkseid into Barda's finishing punch and Harvey and Clark picked Red Hood up and threw him from the ring on top of the panicked Otis. Brucie's new theme music--harpsichords and electric guitars--struck up, and the JLI left the ring together side by side for the last time, new official members of the DCW.
: : :
On the Jumbotron in the arena, the audience could see Billionaire Brucie strolling down the halls, whistling "Mo' Money Mo' Problems" to himself and smiling smugly.
"Brucie! Hey, Brucie!" The camera swiveled to take in Country Clark in his straw hat and overalls, hurrying to catch at Brucie's sleeve. "I'm--I'm really glad we're still going to be working together," he stammered.
"Well," Brucie said, "Considering I own 25% of the stock now, it's more accurate to say that you'll be working for me." He smiled at Clark, giving the camera plenty of time to capture Clark's stricken face. "Don't worry, I'll make sure you're given nice easy matches you can win."
Clark's face darkened. "I don't need you to make things easy for me, Brucie," he muttered.
"Oh, and that's another thing," Brucie said. "I think maybe it should be 'Mr. Wayne,' don't you?"
There was a beat of silence. "Oh," said Clark. "I get it. You were just using us, weren't you? To get people to sympathize with you and make your takeover easier."
Brucie mimed exuberant delight, clapping his hands together. "I knew you weren't quite as dim as you seemed," he said. "Or--wait, did Harvey figure that out for you and explain it using nice small words?"
"No," said Clark. "I figured it out all on my own." He crossed his arms and looked at Brucie, his expression more disappointed than angry. "I should have known better, I guess," he said. "I don't need your help or anyone else's--I can make it here without owning a chunk of the company. I learned that and I'm not gonna forget it. But you might need to learn that just 'cause you've got more money doesn't make you better than anyone else."
For a long minute they stared at each other: Country Clark hurt and resolute, Billionaire Brucie disdainful (but was that a flicker of remorse in his face? Surely not). Then Clark turned on his heel and walked away, leaving Brucie alone in the hallway once more.
After a moment, he strolled off in the other direction. He was whistling to himself once more, but a little slower and a fraction quieter.
: : :
"I bet you would have liked that to be real," said Lex Luthor, rubbing the back of his neck as he came into the common room.
Bruce raised innocent eyebrows. "What, the piledriver?" The last match between Green Lantern and Sinestro was raging on the screen, but neither he nor Luthor glanced at it.
Luthor glared at him. "No, that stock takeover."
Bruce shook his head. "Don't be ridiculous." He pushed damp hair out of his eyes and winked at Luthor. "If I were trying to take over your company, Luthor, I wouldn't be content with only twenty-five percent."
Luthor gave him a long look, then laughed out loud, throwing his head back. "I can see I'm going to have to keep my eye on you, Wayne," he said. "And you," he said, turning to Clark. "Great job with that backstage promo, you sell heartbroken really well."
"Uh, thank you," said Clark.
"We'll get the two of you in an angle starting next show," he said. "Wayne's going to be using his 'newfound power'--" The scare quotes were palpable, "--to make some peoples' lives miserable, and you can step up and confront him about it. Have fun and sell tickets." He turned to Selina. "Kyle! Get over here, I want to talk to you about that gimmick of yours."
Clark and Bruce left him discussing with Selina the possibility that he could seem to murder her and she could come back from the dead with a grudge against him. Selina's dubious voice drifted back to them: "But do you really think they'll buy me being licked back to life by cats?"
"We need to get practicing," said Bruce. Clark looked over; his eyes were dreamy and fixed off in the distance. "You haven't done that hurricanrana with anyone since our angle ended and I'm betting you've gotten rusty."
"Rusty? Me?" Clark punched his shoulder. "Country Clark never gets ring rust. Now, your cobra clutch slam, that probably needs some work."
"Ah Clark," said Bruce with a fond sigh, "You're the best enemy a man could ever ask for."
Relationship: Clark/Bruce
Characters: Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Harvey Dent, Big Barda, Scott Free, Jack Napier, Oliver Queen, Lex Luthor, Selina Kyle
Continuity: Heroes of the Squared Circle, a DC/pro wrestling fusion (click for notes and all chapters).
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Rating: PG
Word Count 2900
Summary: The JLI invasion angle draws to a close with a contract signing in the ring. What are the odds someone's getting thrown through that table? Pretty high.
Wrestling is, more than anything else in the world (besides porn, I guess), about instant gratification. Having problems with your boss? WATCH SOMEBODY PUNCH THEIR BOSS, NOW YOU’RE BETTER. --Brandon Stroud
"Do you think maybe there's some way I can be funny in this promo?" Jack Napier was looking glumly at the red luchador-style mask, designed to cover his entire head. Even the face was obscured, with a mesh that allowed the wrestler to peer out but hid the features. "I'm more of a verbal comedian, but with this gimmick I'm limited to physical gags. Have you noticed the subtle humor of my portrayal?"
"It's...very subtle," Clark said politely. To the point of nonexistence. Red Hood was, like Darkseid, generally used as muscle for Lex Luthor's corporate-bad-guy gimmick. Unlike Darkseid, it was not a speaking gimmick, and his job was limited to standing at Luthor's shoulder and being intimidating. Considering Napier's slender build, he wasn't particularly good at that either. "There's definitely an...ironic edge to the gimmick."
"Exactly!" Napier beamed. "The marks haven't noticed it yet, but I'm sure the smarks who are paying attention will realize what a nuanced performance I'm giving."
"He doesn't read the Planet, I gather," said Oliver Queen as he wandered off to suit up.
"Apparently not," said Clark. Perry White's dirt sheet had been scathing in its one-line dismissal of the "new and unimproved Red Hood."
"Maybe he's just covering for the fact that he's the leak," Queen said. "Did you see the latest?"
"The one about Isley?"
Queen rolled his eyes. "Nah. Luthor doesn't care if people know Poison Ivy's gay. Hell, it'll probably boost her popularity--" He broke off and looked thoughtful, "In fact, I wonder if that was a deliberate leak. But no, I mean the story about Lex trying to sign Jean-Paul Valley. Had exact figures for the offers and everything. Luthor was livid."
"Maybe you're the leak," Clark said.
He'd meant to sound joking, but Queen looked horrified. "Hey, the whole Robin Hood thing is just a gimmick," he said, raising his hands in the air. "Don't talk shit like that." He actually looked around to make sure no one was listening.
"Aren't you being a little paranoid?" said Bruce, rounding the corner out of nowhere, and Queen flinched.
"Stop doing that, man. You're freaking me out," he muttered, and hastily made himself scarce.
"Protesting too much?" Clark said, looking after him.
"Nah." Bruce sat down in his vacated chair. "I'm pretty sure I know who the leak is." He grinned at Clark's expression. "I'm not telling until I know for certain, though."
"What are you going to do, plant a fake rumor and see if it shows up in the Planet?"
"Hey, that's a pretty good idea," Bruce said, admiration glowing in his face. "Downright devious, Clark. If we--"
"No way," Clark said, laughing. "I am not conspiring with you to smoke out a mole. Things are paranoid enough here already."
"Fine," said Bruce, mock-aggrieved. "I'll just keep my clever deductions to myself, then. No, don't beg me to tell you, it will avail you nothing."
Clark snorted and returned to reading his script. "I still think this is ridiculous," he said, slapping the paper. "No one is going to believe this about the stock options."
"They'll believe it if we make them want to believe it," Bruce said.
"Confident as always," said Selina, pulling up a chair. Her hair was still black--"I won't go blonde until we're official"--and she was wearing her JLI t-shirt.
"Of course," said Bruce. "Ready to be a lawyer again?" he called to Harvey.
"You bet," said Harvey. "The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part." He waggled his eyebrows. "How do you like that? That's pretty neat, eh?"
"Groucho Marx, A Night at the Opera," said Clark, as Bruce looked blank.
"Why do I even try with this guy, I ask you," said Harvey, slapping Bruce lightly on the back. He looked back at Clark. "Hey, if I get a chance I'll use that 'sanity clause' line tonight, you ready to pick it up and run with it?"
"Perfect," said Clark.
"Don't feel bad," said Harvey to Bruce, who didn't look like he felt bad at all, "If the Marx Brothers had made a movie about professional wrestling I'm sure you'd know it by heart."
: : :
"The way I see it," said Lex Luthor as the crowd murmured, "You leave me no choice."
The six former members of the JLI stood shoulder-to-shoulder in the ring, facing down Lex Luthor, who was flanked by Darkseid and Red Hood while Otis tried to make himself inconspicuous behind them. Between them was a desk. Clark had to admit it made a pretty dramatic tableau.
"If what it takes to keep you from interfering with my business is to sign you, then that's what I'm going to have to do," Luthor went on. He snapped his fingers and Otis cringed forward, pulling a sheaf of papers from a folder. "So let's do it. I'll sign you here and now, live in this ring, to full-time contracts at salaries the likes of which you never even dreamed of with Lord's promotion. There are only two stipulations."
He grinned at them for a moment, and the JLI wrestlers exchanged uneasy looks.
"The first stipulation," Lex said, holding up a finger, "Is that he--" the finger was leveled at Bruce Wayne, "--is not part of the deal and is not getting a contract. Oh, don't play innocent with me," he said as Bruce threw up his hands and looked shocked. "I know perfectly well you're the ringleader of this sorry little bunch. The rest of them don't have enough brains between them to come up with something like this, but you…" His eyes narrowed, "You are smarter than you act, Billionaire Brucie."
Clark mimed looking insulted, but he felt a sudden chill run down his spine at the assessing look Luthor and Bruce were giving each other. He doesn't have to look quite so sincere, does he?
"So you are out of the equation," Luthor said as Otis put five pieces of paper on the table. "The rest of you, however, are free to examine your contracts." He gestured magnanimously at the papers on the table, and the remainder of the JLI went to the table and picked up their contracts as Brucie retreated to the corner of the ring, glowering.
"This is amazing!" Selina said, jumping up and down with her contract. "I could buy enough diamonds to bathe in with this!"
Scott and Barda were eyeing their contracts more warily, keeping one eye on Darkseid, who had played Scott's evil foster-father back in the glory days of the JLI and was thus not to be trusted. But soon even they were nodding in reluctant approval. Harvey was going over it carefully, rolling some of the more sonorous legal phrases around on his tongue like a fine wine.
Only Clark seemed unconvinced. "I don't like it," he said, glaring down at his contract. "I don't want to leave Brucie behind. We're finally kind of friends, and I just…" His voice trailed off as his comrades slapped him on the back, urging him to sign it and join them.
Clark hoped the cameras were catching Brucie's face as he watched his former teammates prepare to abandon him; he gave Brucie a quick, imploring look and Brucie looked away.
"It's just...there's a lot of long words and stuff I don't understand here," he said. "Like this bit." he held up the contract and read laboriously aloud: "If any of the parties participating in this contract are shown not to be in their right mind, the entire agreement is automatically nolli--nullified."
Harvey stepped up in full "lawyer mode," preening. "I can explain that! That's standard in contracts like this, it's what they call a 'sanity clause.'"
Clark threw the paper down on the table with an "ah-ha!" expression on his face. "Luthor's just fooling with you all! I know there ain't no Sanity Clause." He nodded sagely at the dumbfounded Harvey and explained in a loud stage-whisper, "My Pa was the one left all those presents under the tree every year!"
The crowd groaned in unison, but before Harvey could open his mouth to try to explain, Luthor spoke again: "I do believe I haven't mentioned my second stipulation yet." The wrestlers fell silent as he smiled at them. "As the lot of you have clearly established yourselves to be troublemakers and rabble-rousers, I will require a bit of extra proof that you're willing to work with me. Willing to work for me. And willing to do what you must to prove that you truly are loyal...and obedient...employees. That's why in order to get the right to sign this lucrative and rewarding contract, each of you must first bend down and kiss my…" He paused just long enough to let the crowd's murmurs ratchet up into growls before finishing, "...my foot."
"You want us to--"
"--That's right," Luthor spoke over Scott's words, "I will be requiring you all to get down on your hands and knees and kiss my shoes for the right to work for me. I'm sure you'll agree that's more than fair."
A dramatic pause as the JLI wrestlers emoted shock and uncertainty, each in their own way: Barda brandished an angry fist; Selina looked coy; Clark just scowled. Finally, Harvey stepped forward and took the mic.
"If it must be done..." he said, and as the crowd howled in horror, he dropped to his knees.
Lex extended one shining wingtip, and Harvey closed his eyes and screwed his face up into a parody of a preparation for a kiss. He leaned forward--
"Wait a second." Billionaire Brucie stepped forward once more, taking a spare mic from Clark. "This seems like a good time to mention, Lex--" He paused and made the audience wait for it, just for a moment. "--That I've been buying up DCW stock. Various shell companies, it's all a bit too complicated to explain here."
Shocked silence. The crowd seemed to be holding its breath. Harvey opened one eye, his lips still grotesquely puckered.
Luthor was staring at Brucie. "You can't be implying--Impossible! I still own 51% of the company, I'm the majority shareholder, you can't just--"
"--It's true," Brucie said mournfully, "I haven't been able to get enough shares to really oust you." He flashed a bright smile. "But I do have 25% of the shares, and there's an odd little clause in the bylaws that allows someone with 25% of company stock to offer contracts to people."
The audience will never believe that! Clark had argued when they first read the script. But Bruce had laughed until there were tears at the corners of his eyes and sworn that the average professional wrestling fan understood stockholder bylaws about as well as they understood quantum physics, and if he could sell it, they'd believe it.
And indeed, the crowd was eating it up as Brucie swaggered into the center of the ring and announced, "And I do believe I'll be offering contracts to all my old JLI buddies--and myself, of course. No foot-kissing required," he added as Harvey sprang up, beaming. "I even took the liberty of drafting myself a contract in advance," he said, producing a sheet of paper from his pocket.
Luthor had turned an impressive shade of apoplectic red--he had the useful ability to redden at will, and his baldness made it look even more dramatic. He sputtered in helpless rage as the JLI wrestlers signed their contracts, Brucie signing last with a flourish. "It's a pleasure to be working for you," Brucie beamed. He turned his back on Luthor to leave the ring--
And Luthor gestured to Darkseid and Red Hood, who sprang at him.
As one, the former JLI members countered the attack: Scott and Barda taking on Darkseid, Country Clark and Harvey dealing with Red Hood (Otis immediately scrambled to get away from the fray). As the battle raged around the ring and Luthor stood in fuming rage, Brucie tapped him on the shoulder.
As Luthor turned to yell at him, Brucie caught him up, flipped him over in the air, and drove him headfirst into the table.
The audience screamed its approval as Scott tripped Darkseid into Barda's finishing punch and Harvey and Clark picked Red Hood up and threw him from the ring on top of the panicked Otis. Brucie's new theme music--harpsichords and electric guitars--struck up, and the JLI left the ring together side by side for the last time, new official members of the DCW.
: : :
On the Jumbotron in the arena, the audience could see Billionaire Brucie strolling down the halls, whistling "Mo' Money Mo' Problems" to himself and smiling smugly.
"Brucie! Hey, Brucie!" The camera swiveled to take in Country Clark in his straw hat and overalls, hurrying to catch at Brucie's sleeve. "I'm--I'm really glad we're still going to be working together," he stammered.
"Well," Brucie said, "Considering I own 25% of the stock now, it's more accurate to say that you'll be working for me." He smiled at Clark, giving the camera plenty of time to capture Clark's stricken face. "Don't worry, I'll make sure you're given nice easy matches you can win."
Clark's face darkened. "I don't need you to make things easy for me, Brucie," he muttered.
"Oh, and that's another thing," Brucie said. "I think maybe it should be 'Mr. Wayne,' don't you?"
There was a beat of silence. "Oh," said Clark. "I get it. You were just using us, weren't you? To get people to sympathize with you and make your takeover easier."
Brucie mimed exuberant delight, clapping his hands together. "I knew you weren't quite as dim as you seemed," he said. "Or--wait, did Harvey figure that out for you and explain it using nice small words?"
"No," said Clark. "I figured it out all on my own." He crossed his arms and looked at Brucie, his expression more disappointed than angry. "I should have known better, I guess," he said. "I don't need your help or anyone else's--I can make it here without owning a chunk of the company. I learned that and I'm not gonna forget it. But you might need to learn that just 'cause you've got more money doesn't make you better than anyone else."
For a long minute they stared at each other: Country Clark hurt and resolute, Billionaire Brucie disdainful (but was that a flicker of remorse in his face? Surely not). Then Clark turned on his heel and walked away, leaving Brucie alone in the hallway once more.
After a moment, he strolled off in the other direction. He was whistling to himself once more, but a little slower and a fraction quieter.
: : :
"I bet you would have liked that to be real," said Lex Luthor, rubbing the back of his neck as he came into the common room.
Bruce raised innocent eyebrows. "What, the piledriver?" The last match between Green Lantern and Sinestro was raging on the screen, but neither he nor Luthor glanced at it.
Luthor glared at him. "No, that stock takeover."
Bruce shook his head. "Don't be ridiculous." He pushed damp hair out of his eyes and winked at Luthor. "If I were trying to take over your company, Luthor, I wouldn't be content with only twenty-five percent."
Luthor gave him a long look, then laughed out loud, throwing his head back. "I can see I'm going to have to keep my eye on you, Wayne," he said. "And you," he said, turning to Clark. "Great job with that backstage promo, you sell heartbroken really well."
"Uh, thank you," said Clark.
"We'll get the two of you in an angle starting next show," he said. "Wayne's going to be using his 'newfound power'--" The scare quotes were palpable, "--to make some peoples' lives miserable, and you can step up and confront him about it. Have fun and sell tickets." He turned to Selina. "Kyle! Get over here, I want to talk to you about that gimmick of yours."
Clark and Bruce left him discussing with Selina the possibility that he could seem to murder her and she could come back from the dead with a grudge against him. Selina's dubious voice drifted back to them: "But do you really think they'll buy me being licked back to life by cats?"
"We need to get practicing," said Bruce. Clark looked over; his eyes were dreamy and fixed off in the distance. "You haven't done that hurricanrana with anyone since our angle ended and I'm betting you've gotten rusty."
"Rusty? Me?" Clark punched his shoulder. "Country Clark never gets ring rust. Now, your cobra clutch slam, that probably needs some work."
"Ah Clark," said Bruce with a fond sigh, "You're the best enemy a man could ever ask for."
(no subject)
Date: 2013-09-30 12:31 pm (UTC)Ah, that's my Bruce!
"I'm pretty sure I know who the leak is."
Of course! Because he did detective work. :-DDDDDDDDD
"The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part."
*headdesk*
Groucho Marx,
Ah cultural reference... I feel like Sherlock, LOL. But wikipedia is my John *pets*
"Why do I even try with this guy, I ask you," said Harvey, slapping Bruce lightly on the back.
Juts let me wallow in the Bruce/Harv friendship for a while here... mmmmh... *rolls around like a cat* The important bit that he tries again and again.
"If the Marx Brothers had made a movie about professional wrestling I'm sure you'd know it by heart."
Yes he so would! *pets Bruce*
"You are smarter than you act, Billionaire Brucie."
Ha! Truth and fiction intertwined very well.
"I don't want to leave Brucie behind.
OMG that sentence does things to me!
"My Pa was the one left all those presents under the tree every year!"
I read. I am confused. I read again. And then it clicks... Sanity Clause! (it probably was obvious for people familiar with Groucho Marx) LOL! Oh Clark that is too precious!
And willing to do what you must to prove that you truly are loyal...and obedient...employees.
Fandom has ruined me. My mind went straight into a bdsm scenario there... *headdesk*
He paused just long enough to let the crowd's murmurs ratchet up into growls before finishing, "...my foot."
Aaand it even sort of went there. I am thinking of Irene right now LOL
Can I just say that the image of Brucie staying in the corner during this whole exchange, probably trying to look like he doesn't care at all is heart-wrenching (even if it is only play-acting).
Lex extended one shining wingtip, and Harvey closed his eyes and screwed his face up into a parody of a preparation for a kiss. He leaned forward--
"Wait a second."
Thank you Brucie! Just in time!
The audience will never believe that! Clark had argued when they first read the script. But Bruce had laughed until there were tears at the corners of his eyes and sworn that the average professional wrestling fan understood stockholder bylaws about as well as they understood quantum physics, and if he could sell it, they'd believe it.
YAY Bruce! Of course he'll sell it.
As Luthor turned to yell at him, Brucie caught him up, flipped him over in the air, and drove him headfirst into the table.
0_o I hope that was in the script or there'll be hell to pay.
Billionaire Brucie strolling down the halls, whistling "Mo' Money Mo' Problems" to himself and smiling smugly.
Oh you are making me laught today. :-D
For a long minute they stared at each other: Country Clark hurt and resolute, Billionaire Brucie disdainful (but was that a flicker of remorse in his face? Surely not). Then Clark turned on his heel and walked away, leaving Brucie alone in the hallway once more.
After a moment, he strolled off in the other direction. He was whistling to himself once more, but a little slower and a fraction quieter.
Well played, well played.
"I bet you would have liked that to be real,"
Ah, so it was in the script.
"No, that stock takeover."
Bruce shook his head. "Don't be ridiculous."
And who says it isn't real? Huh? I wonder..
Selina the possibility that he could seem to murder her and she could come back from the dead with a grudge against him.
YAY for another reference to that movie. I really really liked, as I believe I mentioned already. :-)
"But do you really think they'll buy me being licked back to life by cats?"
LOL! Well, reading this now it sounds kind of ridiculous doesn't it?
"We need to get practicing," said Bruce. Clark looked over; his eyes were dreamy and fixed off in the distance. "You haven't done that hurricanrana with anyone since our angle ended and I'm betting you've gotten rusty."
Nope. No ulterior motive here, move along. Nothing to see. Also. YUM! Fun times in the future!
"You're the best enemy a man could ever ask for."
*happy sigh* Happy Bruce makes me happy!
Excellent chapter!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-09-30 02:16 pm (UTC)Oh man, having Bruce do a bit of detective work in this world makes me SO HAPPY. There is more to come, too!
Ah cultural reference... I feel like Sherlock, LOL. But wikipedia is my John *pets*
Curse the cultural references! This one is about 60 years old, at that...
Juts let me wallow in the Bruce/Harv friendship for a while here... mmmmh... *rolls around like a cat* The important bit that he tries again and again.
Fandom has ruined me. My mind went straight into a bdsm scenario there... *headdesk*
I wouldn't call it "ruined." *grin* The original in the WWE is the "kiss my ass club," actually, but I just couldn't see Lex going for something so crude...
Oh you are making me laught today. :-D
The idea that Bruce would even know "Mo' Money Mo' Problems" kind of cracked me up! Maybe one of the writers had to teach it to him...
I'm really quite fond of the fact that Bruce and Harvey can get along in this 'verse! It makes me all kinds of happy...
I read. I am confused. I read again. And then it clicks... Sanity Clause!
Hehehe, I was wondering if that one would work at all, it's just too goofy and so Clark...
LOL! Well, reading this now it sounds kind of ridiculous doesn't it?
I really love that version of Selina, so I don't care how goofy it is! It would work just fine in pro wrestling too, I think. *grin*
*happy sigh* Happy Bruce makes me happy!
He's just giddy with delight that he finally gets to get beaten up/beat up Clark in public once more! Life isn't complete without it... :) And yes, when he's happy I'm happy!
I'm so glad you enjoyed! It's been a while and I'm feeling a bit rusty myself... *sigh*
(no subject)
Date: 2013-09-30 07:15 pm (UTC)Actually, I won't either. Fandom has granted me heaps of deliciousness (ETA: And this is an expression I've stolen from Cabin Pressure's Arthur... hehe)
The original in the WWE is the "kiss my ass club," actually, but I just couldn't see Lex going for something so crude...
Ah! Yes you are right, Lex has more style than that. Even if he loved playing it up a bit.
And Bruce and that song... it's enough to crack me up for all eternity. And then my mind goes straight to a Disco era!Bruce (because the actual music in that hip hop song is very reminiscent of that, stylewise) with the glittery outfit, swaying his hips, OMG BRAIN! STOP!
it's just too goofy and so Clark...
Oh yes, it did work wonderfully for Country Clark!
It's been a while and I'm feeling a bit rusty myself... *sigh*
I sincerely hope you mean rusty with regard to writing this verse and not with being happy.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-10-01 11:01 am (UTC)I love him more every passing moment! :)
I sincerely hope you mean rusty with regard to writing this verse and not with being happy.
Oh, definitely writing! Things have been so busy here that I don't know which way is up, but not in a terrible way, just plain old busy. But that means very little writing, which does make me feel antsy and unhappy at times!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-09-30 02:04 pm (UTC)I'm enjoying the sloooooooooooooooooooooooooooow chip away of the 'Brucie' personality; from the pov of an audience member.
I'm especially giggly at the thought of their new angle once again being about Clark proving himself; but with very different flavouring. The friendship from adversity angle.
*snickers*
With Lex being Lex and snarking about foreplay and or them not being able to keep their hands off each other - while presenting it all so seemingly innocently. With a thrown in 'But I'm not buying anyone any coffins so pre-pay for yourself'.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-09-30 02:18 pm (UTC)Okay, now I'm definitely snickering over this image as well! I didn't want them to have to hide their relationship because of locker-room homophobia (that's the kind of real-world reality I'm leaving out of this world) but having to hide it from a potentially spiteful boss could be rather fun...
I'm enjoying the sloooooooooooooooooooooooooooow chip away of the 'Brucie' personality; from the pov of an audience member.
I confess it's really fun to flake it away bit by bit--everyone knows the rough form his life has taken, so even the slightest bit of a reveal is surprisingly satisfying...
(no subject)
Date: 2013-09-30 02:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-09-30 02:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-09-30 03:15 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2013-09-30 07:17 pm (UTC)