mithen: (Hand on Shoulder S/B)
[personal profile] mithen
Title: A Wedding, a First Meeting, A Honeymoon (in that order)
Pairing/Characters: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne
Rating: PG-13
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Fandom: DC Animated
Summary: Superman and Batman discover a hitch in their wedding plans. Luckily their friends are willing to help them get past it.
Word Count: 2400

“Is it true?” Wonder Woman sat down next to Superman and Batman, cradling a steaming cup of tea in her hands. Outside the Watchtower windows, the Earth curved serenely against the stars.

“Is what true?” Superman asked. Batman looked apprehensive.

Wonder Woman blew the steam from her tea and took a sip. “I heard you were planning to be wed.”

Superman groaned, and Batman’s eyes narrowed behind the cowl.

“What?” said Wonder Woman. “I mean, the two of you have never been demonstrative about your relationship, but you’ve never made a secret of it either. At least not since Batman almost died and Superman blurted out his feelings over the League open comm.”

“I remember the incident,” Batman said, while Superman seemed to be trying not to writhe. “But I had thought the fact that we were actually engaged would remain private longer.” He looked at Superman. “Kal?”

“I...might have told Kara,” Superman admitted. He shrugged. “She noticed I was unusually happy and wouldn’t stop prying.” His shoulders slumped and he stared down at the table. “I’m sorry, Bruce.”

“As it so happens,” Batman said, “Dick figured it out through similar...deductive means, and interrogated me until I confessed. So the fault may not be entirely yours.”

“You were going to have to go public at some point,” Wonder Woman said, pointing accusingly at them with the tea mug. “I mean, you will be inviting your friends to the wedding, right?”

“We hadn’t actually discussed the details,” Clark admitted. “It had already felt...pretty overwhelming.”

The Dark Knight took a sip of coffee. “Not to me. I’m not so easily overwhelmed,” he muttered.

“So will the invitations be from Superman and Batman or from Clark and Bruce?”

Clark laughed. “I don’t think ‘Superman’ and ‘Batman’ are legal entities, Diana, so it’s going to have to be--”

Batman’s coffee cup hit the table abruptly. “Oh no,” said Bruce.

“What?” said Diana and Clark together.

“Oh no,” Bruce repeated.

”What?” said Clark, Diana, and everyone else in the Watchtower cafeteria who had been pretending not to listen in.

“Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent can’t get married,” said Bruce. “They haven’t met yet.”

“Are you sure?” Superman said blankly ten minutes later. “It feels like they’ve--like we’ve--met.”

“We’ve met in private often without the capes, of course,” said Bruce. “So naturally it feels that way. You’ve spent a lot of time at the Manor, for example. But can you name me one time Clark Kent of Smallville and Bruce Wayne, playboy millionaire, have met in public where people can see them and start associating them? A single charity ball or function?”

Clark cast his eyes up, rummaging through his memories. “What about that that ceremony for the new Wayne Initiative in Metropolis? I was there for--”

“You asked me one question--not even a very exciting one. You were five rows back and never got close enough to me to catch a cold. And no one in that suit would have caught Bruce Wayne’s eye.”

“The charity picnic last June?”

“We both went, but you came late--possible meteor strike to deal with--and I left early--Joker sighting. We didn’t overlap at all.”

“Uh. I guess you’re right.”

It was a sure sign that Bruce was agitated that he didn’t even pause to say “of course.” “This is a terrible oversight. We can’t get married while this is true. We can’t exactly put ‘Superman’ and ‘Batman’ on the marriage certificate.”

“So you elope,” said Flash, giving up the pretense of not eavesdropping altogether and appearing by the table. “Just a quiet ceremony with a justice of the peace. When the news gets out, which I suppose it will, let people chalk it up to playboy shenanigans.”

Clark’s grimace matched Bruce’s. “That won’t work,” said Clark before Bruce could say it. “It would fit Bruce’s style, but it’s...out of character for Clark Kent to marry someone in secret and so abruptly. It would raise questions.”

“The kinds of questions someone like Lex Luthor might find very intriguing indeed,” said Bruce. “No, there’s got to be some kind of public courtship.” He drummed his fingers on the table. “I have an idea,” he said after a moment. He drummed his fingers a couple more times. “I have a plan,” he said.

Diana looked at him, then at Clark. “From the way he says that, I have a feeling things are going to get interesting,” she said.

“I hope so,” said Batman. “But before I set this plan into motion, there’s one thing I have to do first.”

He turned to Diana.

The very next day, the hall was buzzing with chatter and laughter as Star City’s upper crust enjoyed themselves, presided over by Oliver Queen. He hadn’t thrown one of his notorious “flash parties” in years, so people had jumped when they’d gotten their invitations by Twitter, Facebook, or whatever social media platform Ollie knew them on. Bruce Wayne had even flown in from Gotham and was by the host’s side, sipping champagne and trading languid bon mots about the food, the guests, and life in general. The patterns of the party were largely flowing around them, like ripples around a rock, so nearly everyone noticed when Bruce Wayne suddenly sat up straight in his chair and grabbed Queen by his sleeve.

“Oliver,” Wayne gasped, “Who is that enchanting creature who just walked through the door?”

Queen glanced over. “Oh, Steve Lombard? Rather hunky, isn’t he? Works for the Daily Planet--it’s a ‘newspaper.’” He made air quotes. “Maybe you’ve heard of them.”

Bruce punched him lightly on the arm. “No, you dolt, the vision next to him!”

People were turning to follow his gaze and stare at the object of his rapture; if Oliver Queen felt an urge to laugh, you would never know it from his confused expression. “Next to him? I think that’s some other reporter from Metropolis. Kent, or Clark, or something. I think--”

He was talking to thin air.

“Oliver informs me your name is Kent. Or Clark,” Bruce said airily as he materialized next to the newcomer. “Or something. Care to enlighten me? I do hate a mystery.”

Clark adjusted his glasses and fidgeted; he’d worn his best suit tonight, but it didn’t quite fit with the highest levels of Star City. That was part of the point, after all. “It’s both,” he said.

Bruce’s mouth opened in a soundless “ah.” Then he tilted his head to the side, puzzled. “How?”

Clark’s mouth twitched. “First name Clark, last name Kent.”

“Well, Clark Kent,” said Bruce. “I am Bruce W--”

“--I know who you are,” Clark interrupted him, and Bruce’s eyebrows rose.

“Oh, you’re saucy as well as handsome,” he purred, causing a variety of people to stare and then hide their giggles behind their hands. “Dance with me,” Bruce demanded.

“Dance with--whoa!” Clark found himself whisked onto the dance floor and into a waltz, and then a tango. They danced the rest of the night as Bruce murmured into his ear and the space between their bodies grew less and less, until they were pressed against each other, swaying. Clark looked bemused but not unhappy; Bruce looked enraptured.

And so began a whirlwind courtship that dominated the tabloids for weeks.

The very next day, Bruce Wayne’s private helicopter landed on the roof of the Daily Planet. “I’ve come to steal your reporter away,” Bruce announced cheerfully as he sauntered into the bullpen.

Perry White glared at him. “How dare you--”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll let him keep working. His commitment to his quaint little job is one of the many things I adore about him,” Bruce said, blowing a kiss toward where Clark sat, scarlet-faced and struggling not to burst into laughter. “I’ll even let him check in with you via video. But he and I will be vacationing on my yacht. I yearn to see him in a tiny bathing suit--if that--soaking up the sunlight like the solar god he is.”

Somewhere there was a noise which sounded suspiciously like Steve Lombard spitting out a mouthful of coffee.

Perry looked at Clark. “Do you really want to go?” he asked, honestly curious.

Clark looked sheepish and nodded. “I promise to keep working,” he said.

Perry growled. “I don’t question your devotion to your job, Kent. I do question your taste in romantic partners, but…” There was a pause in which Clark could see Perry weighing costs and benefits. Then he shrugged and said to Bruce, “Who knows, maybe he’ll be more productive that way. Take the lummox and welcome to him.” He leveled a finger at Clark, who was gathering up his laptop and papers. “I don’t care how much footsie you play, but I expect that story on the Department of Justice scandal in my inbox by tomorrow morning, got it?”

“Got it, chief!” Clark stammered, dodging curious onlookers to follow in Bruce’s trail.

“Welcome, sir,” said the helicopter pilot as Clark climbed in. “It’s a pleasure to see you.”

“Thank you, Alfred,” said Clark, looking down as the helicopter climbed upward. “You were laying it on a little thick there, weren’t you?” he said to Bruce.

“Maybe.” Bruce looked very pleased with himself. “I figure a week of quality cruise ship time and people shouldn’t find it too surprising when Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent get engaged. They won’t expect us to make it through the engagement, but we will somehow. After a reasonable engagement--maybe two weeks or two months or so.”

“Two months, please,” said Alfred from his pilot’s seat. “I’m not doing all the cooking myself and we’ll need to find a good caterer.”

“After a two-month engagement,” Bruce went on, “We will throw a huge outré shindig that fulfills everyone’s worst assumptions about tasteless weddings. People will talk. And talk. And eventually they’ll be scandalized but accept that somehow we’re actually a legal couple.”

“Great,” said Clark. “I have a feeling Bruce Wayne is going to be an insufferable Groomzilla.”

“Who, me?” Bruce said, opening his eyes wide. “Do I really seem the kind of person to obsessively micromanage something like that?”

Clark let the eloquent look he shared with Alfred speak louder than any words.

“Anyway,” Bruce said, taking Clark’s hand. “Thank you for agreeing to come along on this little getaway.”

“As if I don’t know perfectly well that you’ve got a full crime-lab-away-from-home on your yacht and plan to have me whisk you ashore to Gotham every night,” Clark said with a smile.

Almost every night,” Bruce amended. “I think I can afford to take tonight off, for example.”

He smiled and kissed the knuckles of Clark’s hand and added:

“After all, it is the first night of our honeymoon.”

In the Watchtower cafeteria, Diana stood before her two friends, smiling widely. The rest of the League was gathered around them, looking delighted or uncomfortable depending on who they were.

“You’re sure you’re qualified to do this?” Flash asked from the sidelines. He had proclaimed himself both the best man and flower girl and managed to find a handful of roses in the Watchtower hydroponics. “Are you ordained?”

“She’s a goddess,” Superman and Batman snapped at the same time.

“Are you ready?” Diana’s eyes sparkled as both Superman and Batman nodded. “I’m revising the ceremony slightly from the Amazonian, but I believe it will still suit.”

She bowed her head briefly and for a moment Clark could swear he saw light gather around her dark hair; he swallowed hard.

When she looked up again, her face was solemn but joyous. “Will those who wish to pledge their lives to each other join hands?”

Clark reached out and took Bruce’s hands in his. Bruce had removed the gloves, and his hands were very cold. Clark squeezed them slightly and felt an answering pressure.

“Comrades!” Diana called out, and everyone went still. “Today we gather today to celebrate the joining of the lives of two of our--brothers,” she said, stumbling only slightly over the term. “I give their names now to the gods: Superman; Kal-El; Clark Kent. Batman; Bruce Wayne. These two have stood side by side and back to back; they have risked their lives for each other. They wish today to pledge their love to one another and to join their lives forever: to be entwined as two rose vines, mingled as two streams.”

She spread her hands wide and addressed both of them:

“My friends, my siblings, do you today swear to love each other, cherish each other, protect each other, and respect each other? If so, please say ‘I do.’”

“I do,” Clark and Bruce said together.

“Then I now declare that in the eyes of the gods, you are one. May Aphrodite favor your union; may Hera bless your home together; may Athena give you wisdom in dealing with conflict; and may Persephone grant that you always return to one another in the end. May it be so.”

”May it be so,” echoed the rest of the League, and for a moment Clark felt something shiver in the air, like a brilliant light or a resonant sound, although it was neither. Bruce’s fingers, no longer cold, gripped his tightly, and Clark could hear him take a sharp, almost reverent breath.

“You may kiss each other,” Diana finished. Then she dimpled. “That’s not part of the ceremony, actually. I just would rather like to see you kiss.”

The ripple of laughter and cheerful wolf whistle from the back indicated that Diana was not alone.

Without ceremony, Batman stepped forward and dipped Superman into a deep kiss. Clark smiled against his mouth, hearing the approving applause, then came up from the dip to whirl Batman right up into the air without breaking the kiss.

A rose hit Batman in the face. He caught the second one out of the air without looking and glared down at the grinning Flash and the rest of the appreciative League.

“Don’t you have more important places to be? A world to protect or something?”

The crowd started to break up, people chattering happily.

“Not you, Queen,” Batman said as Green Arrow started to wander off. “I need your help.”

“Luckily for you I’m a hopeless romantic,” said Oliver with a smirk. “I couldn’t possibly refuse a request from a newlywed. What do you need?”

“I need you to help me arrange a first meeting with my husband,” said Batman.
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